Are you having trouble figuring out how to stop worrying about what others think? If you’re here right now, you’ve most likely read several pep talks explaining to you how to not care what people think of you.
Did you get a temporary high or feeling of relief from those talks only to realize that you still care what people think about you?
You’re damn right you did.
Here’s the first question you need to ask yourself, “How old am I?”
I’d be surprised if anyone reading this article is above the age of 28, and even that is a bit of a stretch in my opinion.
By the time I was 18, I already cared more about a dog’s opinion of me than a human’s.
Let me break down for you the way life works on a general level.
Why do I think this concept of how to stop caring is overrated?
I’ll just come right out and say it; EVERYONE cares what others think about them until they reach a certain point of maturation.
Life has a way of wearing us down by finding our weakest points and sticking the knife in before twisting it.
Most teenagers and young adults haven’t experienced true pain, but I bet the ones who have care a lot less about what people think of them than the ones who’ve been on easy street their entire lives.
The people who preach this “stop caring” lesson tend to be people who were lost in life and then suddenly found themselves.
It’s like a child with a shiny new toy.
Then there are the people who didn’t get much attention in real life until they became popular on the internet.
I’m sorry to break it to you, but there is no gold at the end of the rainbow when you stop caring about what others think of you.
A Leprechaun with a pot of gold doesn’t appear at the foot of your bed the following morning after you flipped the switch.
If that were true then nearly everyone in the world above the age of thirty would be a crazy rich Asian.
Allow me to break it down for you…
Let’s look at it this way to give the most extreme example.
Okay, you have a fourteen-year-old girl who’s getting ready for her first day of high school.
The whole family is nervous that night knowing that any negative thing that comes out of another kid at school’s mouth could wreak havoc on their lives.
If one kid picks on her, her entire world abruptly collapses.
The compliments she received from Susan and Mary on her dress that morning instantly get swept under the rug never to be found again.
Do you think it’s possible to coach that teenage girl how to stop worrying about what others think?
I don’t like to talk in absolutes, but I don’t know of many people in the world who could do that.
Now, let’s look at the other side of the spectrum.
Ever heard a senior citizen rip a fart in public without a care in the world?
I think we all have.
How about those middle-aged cats rocking proud mullets and sweatpants in public?
You think they care what’s going through other people’s minds?
Do you think most senior citizens are worried about what others think of them?
I know the last thing on my grandmother’s mind is a worry of what a random person’s judgment of her is.
You know why?
There is no magic bullet
When I wake up in the morning, I thank God if I’m not in any physical pain that day.
That’s 1000 times better of a gift than the ability to stop caring what a stranger thinks of me.
I thank God if I look at my phone and didn’t find out someone I care about died or overdosed that day.
You think I honestly care about what someone thinks of me when I walk outside at age 34?
The point is that when you experience enough life, you don’t need someone to coach you on how to not care what others think of you.
Unless you’ve never felt pain, lost anything that meant something to you, or have been bottled up in a fantasy world for 30 years, after age 30 you just stop caring.
It’s part of maturing as a human being.
It happened to me by the time I was done college and suddenly lost my dad.
I’ll never forget when my mom called to tell me.
I could feel a piece of my soul being ripped out of my chest.
Life has a way of numbing us
Losing the people we love most instantly shows us how fragile life truly is.
My father was only the first in a line of tragic losses, but am I special? Far from it.
Everyone goes through pain in life, and the sooner people feel that pain, the sooner they stop caring.
Does that mean you should give up? No.
I work harder now than I ever have in my life, and I’ve never been a slouch.
I’m a self-made guy who’s worked for everything he has.
At the moment, I’m happier and more disciplined than I’ve ever been in my life.
I’ve learned that a sober life overseas is the best medicine for me.
Disconnecting from my home country was necessary for me to put all the anger behind me.
Getting back to the point
The problem with lessons online is they’re written in such a way that’s supposed to make you think that they’re groundbreaking.
When someone wants me to believe that the ability to stop caring what others think will turn me into Superman, I can’t help but smirk.
If you’re young and still nervous about what people will think of you, just know that it will pass with time.
The key is to work on finding yourself by any means necessary.
That’s much more important.
Once you do that, the rest will follow.
In a way, you should be happy that you’re still young and naive enough to care about what people think of you because life will only get harder emotionally.
You’ll find that no amount of money, success, or fame will make you a happy person without the qualities below.
Examples of qualities that will make you happy include discipline, conscientiousness, brotherly love, honor, vitality, and ardor.
The moral of the story is to take everything you read online with a grain of salt, including this article.
Opinions are great to share, but when those opinions turn into unfounded absolutes, they turn into garbage.
The best way to stop worrying about what others think of you is to let yourself grow up and enjoy your childhood and time as a young adult.
Sure, you’ll run into some hard times when someone says something that hurts your feelings and magnifies your worries.
Is it the end of the world? No.
Is it part of life? Yes.
Just be happy that you’re young enough to care; that’s all I’m saying.