Self Improvement Goals: The A to Z Guide for Real Men

Last Updated Nov 25, 2021

There are many reasons for having a dull sex life.  The foremost reasons are low testosterone, lack of weightlifting/exercise, age, overindulgence in pornography, excessive masturbation, stress, lack of confidence, substance abuse and depression.  If you’re not waking up with morning wood, eager for sex, something is wrong.  We are human, but we are still animals, very sensual animals. In this article, I share the most essential self improvement goals to fast-track your journey to becoming an alpha male.

STOP Watching Tube Sites and Start Meeting Women in the Real World

Overindulgence in pornography could lead to unhealthy fetishes.  I’ve had multiple close friends tell me that when they masturbate to adult videos, by the time they finish, they are saying to themselves “What the heck was I just watching.”  Believe me, I’ve done the same thing.

Overindulgence will also cause you to depend on visual stimulation.  If you can’t get going with your girlfriend with the lights off, something is wrong.

With the wide selection of free adult videos on the internet, it is a real challenge to quit watching.  When I first quit watching, I had an addiction to smoking bud.  I would smoke bud, then masturbate to adult.  Eventually, I formed fetishes that don’t make sense to me now.

Stop watching.  Get up off your butt to meet women in the real world.  You’ll find out visual stimulation isn’t the most important factor.  We have four other equally powerful senses.

Keep in mind, sometimes the most visually appealing girl can have a foul scent.  Maybe her skin isn’t quite as soft either, or she isn’t as snug as the cutie with a little more meat on the bones.

Stop watching adult vids; it’s simple.

SOLUTION: Start a new hobby to replace watching it.

Low Testosterone?

Low testosterone can have many causes, but these causes have remedies.  I am not a doctor; if you suffer from a medical malady, talk to your doctor.  If your diet is horrible, you’re not exercising and never sleeping with women, I repeat: GET UP OFF YOUR BUTT!

There are girls out there for every guy!  All shapes and sizes!  You only live once (cliche yet true).

Would you rather sit on your couch eating Cheetos while watching this week’s edition of American Idol?

There are supplements to help raise testosterone.  Do some homework, or come back to my site when I write a more thorough post on the supplements I use.  Or better yet email me, I may give you advice absolutely free.

There are certain exercises to help raise T, such as bench press, squats, deadlifts, pull-ups, push-ups, and sprints.  Start out slow and work yourself up mentally and physically to your whole potential.

We were not created to be fat, skinny, or worthless.  We are warriors who eat life for breakfast and magnetize women with our musk.

Get over that girl who dumped you in high school, you’re living in the past.  Once you get the confidence to approach women, your level of game won’t matter as much as your resiliency.  Unless you’re an all-star, a lot of women are going to turn you down.

For an average guy like me, at least 9 out of 10 women are going to reject me.  I’ve slept with over 300 women with 1000s of rejections in the process.

Measure yourself by your successes instead of your failures.  If you take rejections personally, you need to work on yourself.

I embrace failure because it teaches me how to win.

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Stop masturbating so much, your hair might fall out.

Our manhood holds precious nutrients, and we can’t let go of them multiple times per day (this tenet excludes sex).  You’re losing zinc, protein, and diminishing testosterone.

When a man has sex, he releases energy while the woman assimilates it.

Do you really want to release valuable energy into your hand or a piece of toilet paper?  Have you ever noticed a feeling of guilt afterward?  This is your body talking!

I’m not saying to never enjoy a tug because we do want fresh semen.

I’m a horny guy and almost all my nuts occur during sex.  If I do masturbate, I try not to let myself finish (edging).  I only break one off if I have been getting laid and need to work that day.

Watch Matthew McConaughey in the Wolf of Wall Street (he does a funny scene where he mentions how he doesn’t want to masturbate, but it’s mandatory).

With a pent-up nut, I’m on the hunt with a higher chance of success.

Or you could save masturbation for when a girl wants you to take her out on an expensive first date (this excludes smoke shows who take a little more work), and the chance of sex looks dismal.  Skip the date, and have a tug instead.  This way, you can save money and invest in making more money.

The point is to stay in balance.  Strategize.

Stop Living a Subpar Life!

Long-term abstinence will lower your libido and cause you to get into the habit of saying “I will never get laid.”  I’ve been there.  It’s a feeble place.

You’re likely blaming everyone else or making excuses for why you are abstinent.  Maybe you’re even blaming yourself because you’re out of shape and not the most handsome guy in the room.

Guess what?  You need to take a look in the mirror and clear your head.  You can change.  Do you want to live out your existence being subpar with a lousy sex life?  If you answered yes, why are you here?  Not on this website, but on Earth.

There are tons of ways to start meeting women and tons of help: books, coaches, consultants, personal trainers, practice, the real world outside your home.

I was temporarily living sexless (during a time I was obsessed with work).  Now I am living to my greatest potential by staying in the moment while learning every day to become a more potent man.

With my willpower, I prevail at all costs.

Learn to adopt a virile mindset.

Get out there and talk to women.  Don’t fear failure.  Even failure can feel good.  Just making a cold approach is a success.  Once you start finding success, failures become humorous.

I’ve slept with models.  Sometimes, I cold approach much less physically attractive women and get completely shut down.  To the point where just being myself made them nauseous.

I get off on that because it means I was shamelessly being myself.

If you’re addicted to drugs or alcohol, it’s time to quit!

It took me 14 years to curb my addiction to bud.  I don’t live with regret because smoking bud is good if you’re not addicted.  For me, it’s all or nothing.  I have shared countless laughs with friends, formulated marvelous thoughts, and built an incredible cerebral foundation.

I am glad to live relatively sober now.  I still party from time to time, but I’m not addicted to anything besides food and women.

I have watched drug addiction ruin the lives of the people closest to me, including my only brother.  We don’t need to use drugs or get drunk every day to have fun.

The best dates I have ever had were completely sober.  The sex is simply superior.  Sure, we can all take something away from an incredible, psychedelic experience or a guffaw with our friends.

Learn to get back there without the substance.

Start to train your mind and feel inner peace.  The main reason people do drugs is that they are out of balance and craving something.  Everything we need is already within us.

Meditation can help open the blocks that cause those cravings.

Next time you want to get high or drunk, go to the gym instead.  As we evolve, and technology evolves with us, we will live longer lives.

Take care of your body (your vessel) and you’ll be attractive your entire life.  You will also have a longer sex life than most guys! Flood your body with healthy nutrients daily.

Start Working on Yourself!

If you lack confidence, start working on yourself.  If you’re feeling like crap, you can change that.  If you think you’re ugly, I guarantee there are women who will find you attractive.

One of my problems stemmed from never experiencing women outside of America.

After finding women I am attracted to both mentally and physically around the world, I no longer desire to live in America.  Seeing the light killed any vestigial desire I had to meet women in America.  Although, if it was all I had, I’d make the best of it.

Make Power Moves

Make power moves.  Learn to use the fear in your stomach to create something positive.  When you get stronger, more confident, and are having sex, you will look at the old version of yourself and wonder why you didn’t start working on yourself sooner.

You can’t sit around, eat processed food, watch TV all day and wonder why you’re not getting laid.

Go to the gym, learn to play a musical instrument, read books to become wiser, learn to cook, etc.  Skills will make you more attractive, which in turn leads to a better sex life.

If you really think about it, what attractive woman wants a man who offers nothing?

If Brad Pitt was a complete loser and still physically attractive, sure he would get laid, but he wouldn’t have married Angelina Jolie or Jennifer Aniston.

Our accomplishments give us the most confidence, not how we look or how smooth we are.

I don’t consider myself a player.  I’m just an average guy who works on himself to become more confident and loves to meet wholesome women.  My sex life is of the utmost importance.

Stop Being Depressed!

Stress and Depression are two emotions men should never dwell on.  If you are stressed, stop complaining and start doing.

Make some changes in your life.  Depression will have a huge negative impact on your sex life if you don’t make changes today.

Is your boss an a-hole?  Get a new one, or better yet, be your own boss.

Are you working long hours and not being compensated?  Get a new job.

You have no money and your debt is piling up?  That’s your fault.  Stop buying video games, lose the cable TV and stop dropping stacks on bar tabs.

Is your diet terrible?  Learn to cook and eat clean, or better yet, start a garden.

You’re not meeting women because you’re fat and ugly?  Well go to the gym and realize you’re not ugly.

Your girlfriend dumped you two years ago and now she’s in love with someone else?  Get over it (I’ve been there).

If someone close to you died years ago?  Get over it, that’s part of life.

You don’t have any friends and nobody likes you?  Become a lone wolf and offer something valuable to the world.

Nobody invited you to the party or to go out?  Guess what!  You can go out alone.

The main point is to man up.  Most depressed people live in the past, and most stressed people live in the future.

Learn to live in the moment and appreciate each little second in life no matter how you are feeling.  We can’t have highs without lows.  Some of our best thoughts come during those low times.

It’s your job to always do your best no matter how you feel.

No one is going to wipe your butt or help you for no reason.

Like attracts like.

Better people will come into your life.  Learn to cut ties with people who are holding you back.  It’s hard; it’s maybe even your only family.

Cutting ties with someone doesn’t mean you can’t still love the person.  When they see you doing better, they will wake up and come back into your life later.

Then you can teach them what you’ve learned.

There is nothing more toxic than sitting around with a bunch of people in a mutual comfort zone.

Figure out how to constantly evolve and further yourself.  It’s amazing how much we can evolve as human beings in a single lifetime.

Time to Improve Your Sex Life

I hope my words motivate you to get off your couch because I can see you sitting there now with a bowl of popcorn on your lap while watching the entire Lord of The Rings trilogy on a Sunday.


  • Stop watching porn
  • Start lifting
  • Quit your chemical dependencies
  • Put an end to your depressed mindset
  • Eat Clean

Age is only a number.  It’s never too late to start working on yourself to improve your sex life.  A quality sex life will make you a more virile man, and a better one.


  1. Aaron Stevens

    These are some good life lessons, if anything to improve who you are as a human being. Improving oneself in any and all ways is the basic message here….with these life improvements, positive outcomes will be the result. Improvement is a lifelong, continuous process.

    • @199Flags

      Thank you Aaron! I am glad you enjoyed the article. I agree the process is lifelong.

  2. Johnny

    What country did you go to w/ the big tits property manager you hooked up w/ on the 50th floor?

    • @199Flags

      Thanks for reading Johnny! Asia.