When you see a Filipina dating a foreigner, there are two ways to look at it: from a macro or micro perspective. The reason I’m writing this article is that I’ve seen the reality of the situation from both angles and feel as though my opinion is worth a look.
I’ve been a natural observer my whole life, and it’s the main reason I’m still alive to tell this tale.
I’ve also spent several years in the Philippines on and off starting in 2014. During this time, I’ve seen a lot of Filipinas dating foreigners for various reasons.
There’s something strange that happens every time I date an Asian girl – for more than a fling – that I address in this article.
10 Things to Consider About a Filipina Dating a Foreigner
#1) All Filipinas Are Gold Diggers: False
There are certainly cultural boundaries for foreigners and Filipinas to leap when they decide to start a relationship. If things get serious enough, their families will meet someday.
I’m pointing this out because if my grandmom were alive today and saw me bring home a Filipina, she’d instantly see a charity case. My grandmom was the funniest woman I’ve ever known. Everything she said was raw and unfiltered. I admired that about her, while other members of my family took offense to her words.
The point is that my grandmom would be doing nothing wrong by making that assumption. These are the stereotypes that linger in society. Of course, not all Pinays are gold diggers, but that’s not to say that a lot of them aren’t.
I’ve seen more than enough young Pinays being spoiled by older men to know that there’s a lot of gold diggers in the Philippines.
In the same breath, there are probably just as many gold diggers – if not more – in America. Gold diggers are everywhere, and naive men will always fall for their tricks.
#2) All Filipinas Want a Foreign Passport: False
As I mentioned before in my article concerning the disadvantages of marrying a Filipina, not all Pinays are looking for a ticket out of the Philippines.
Men move to the Philippines to settle down with a Pinay. In a way, these men are doing the reverse of what a lot of Filipinas want. In my opinion, this is the way to do it because the Philippines is a beautiful country.
Why not settle down with a Pinay on the beach somewhere in paradise?
Now, on the other hand, there are a lot of Pinays looking for US and UK passports. Trust me, there are women specifically targeting men in these countries for a ticket out of the country and a passport.
Foreign men who don’t carefully screen Filipinas – or put the time in to get to know them before committing – may later find that they got used by a cunning Pinay.
#3) All Pinays Are Sweet and Caring: False
Parts of Manila, e.g. Makati and BGC, are a stone’s throw away from becoming fully westernized. Since the advent of Instagram, Facebook, and westernization in Manila, Manila girls have changed a great deal.
By the time I last left Makati in 2018, I could barely recognize the women who had changed my life there in 2014.
Suddenly, they became what I was used to seeing in America. Are they all sour now? No, of course not. I’m not making any generalizations, I’m simply sharing my observations.
My advice is to look outside of the most westernized parts of the Philippines for more traditional Pinays who haven’t been as negatively impacted by Western culture.
#4) All Pinays Are Easy: False
Long gone are the days when a foreign guy could simply show up to Manila and attract attention from model-hot Pinays. Foreigners need to bring more to the table these days, and I mentioned this in an article on my buddy Naughty Nomad’s site.
Every foreign guy that travels to Manila thinks he’s the king of Manila by the time he leaves because he slept with a few girls. Little did he know that these same girls slept with many foreigners before him and will sleep with many more after him.
Top-tier Filipinas are stunningly gorgeous and not easy. You need to bring your A-game and have more than chump change in your bank account to score a trophy in major Filipino cities.
This goes back to my advice to search outside of Manila and Cebu for a Filipina girlfriend or wife. There are gorgeous Pinays living in off-the-beaten-path locations who have no clue how hot they actually are.
During my first trip to the Philippines in 2014, I ventured off the beaten path and a got a true taste of Heaven on Earth as an average man.
My first book, Oversexed Gringo, details the events of my eye-opening journey.
#5) Filipinas Prefer Foreigners Over Filipinos: False
Foreign men are under the impression that Filipinas prefer them over Filipinos. This is 100% untrue.
A lot of Filipinas I met had been hurt by a Filipino boyfriend. In other words, a lot of Filipinas seek foreign men because their Filipino boyfriend cheated on them or broke their heart.
I’m a confident guy and a realist. I never put myself above anyone else. What’s funny to me is that a lot of foreign guys don’t realize that they weren’t their Filipina girlfriend’s first choice. They fail to see the reality of the situation because they don’t know any better.
There’s a huge difference between the foreigner who’s been in the Philippines a few years and the one who just landed there. When I reflect, I can see both versions of myself, and it gives me a chuckle.
#6) Filipinas Date Foreigners to Feel Entitled: True
This point is probably the most controversial on the list and my favorite. Pinays love social media and Western TV, especially trashy reality TV. When they see enough of this stuff online and on TV, they want to be it.
One way for them to become what they see on TV is to find a foreign boyfriend who’s like what they see online and on TV. Then, once they do, they suddenly have this look at me, I made it type of vibe going on that’s frighteningly unattractive.
You’ll often see this type of Pinay decked out in name-brand US clothing walking around with a clueless foreign boyfriend. She’s got her arm through his arm dragging him around the mall like a dog to show him off.
When they go out to the store, she talks louder (whether subconsciously or consciously) to draw attention to what she’s got going on. This type of activity is becoming more prevalent in the most westernized parts of the Philippines.
#7) A Filipina/Foreigner Relationship Gets Weird: True
As I mentioned in the introduction, Filipinas – and Asian women in general – can get weird in certain situations.
For example, I’ve noticed while dating Filipinas, they act strangely when we go outside and get around other mixed couples. I believe that psychologically they begin comparing their situations to the other Filipinas who netted a foreign boyfriend or husband.
What I’ve noticed is they act more affectionate and caring in this type of situation. It’s almost as if they want to outshine the other Filipinas with foreign boyfriends in the room.
#8) Filipinas Assume Foreigners Have Money: True
Through no fault of their own, Pinays are trained to believe that all foreign men have money. When a belief is so deeply ingrained in someone’s head, it’s nearly impossible for them not to think it.
When Filipinos and Filipinas see foreigners, they see dollar signs. I’ve traveled all over the world, and this happens everywhere, not just the Philippines.
What’s important to know is the disparity between the lower and upper classes in the Philippines. There are slums directly next to modern high-rise buildings.
The Philippines is also extremely densely-populated with a significantly larger lower class. Unless a foreign guy is specifically targeting an upper-class Filipina, there’s a good chance the Pinay is with him for the money.
Lastly, a foreign guy doesn’t need to be rich in his home country to be “rich” in the Philippines. A small income in the Western world is more than enough to get by in most parts of the Philippines.
Even a meager income in the West is adequate to attract a Pinay who wants to get out of her current living situation by dating a foreigner.
#9) Filipinas Use Foreigners: True
Filipinas are clever women who know how to spot a mark. There are too many schemes going on in the Philippines designed to bait foreigners to list here.
I’ve walked miles and miles around the Philippines. During my strolls, I observed more than enough activity to draw conclusions. There are instances where Filipina women are clearly using foreign men.
Now, digging deeper into this type of relationship, there are foreign men who don’t care about being used as long as the Filipina is giving them what they desire.
In reality, there are foreign men and Filipinas using each other. Call it empty or what you will, but this does happen, and it’s common.
#10) Most Filipina/Foreigner Relationships Don’t End Well: True
Filipinas dating foreigners typically doesn’t end well. In the world that we live in today, traditional love is all but dead. Once a foreigner gets a taste of dating a Pinay and realizes how many Pinays are available to date, he’ll most likely cheat on his Filipina girlfriend.
The same can happen to the guy as well. With all the Filipino dating sites and apps that both foreigners and Pinays use, it’s easy for either party to find a quick score. People are far from perfect, and feelings inevitably fade.
Romance is always fun at the beginning, but what happens between a foreigner and Filipina once reality starts to set in?
After the guy or girl does one thing wrong, they can jump on a phone app and relive that high of meeting a Filipina or foreign guy for the first time.
Then, there’s the visa situation. Without marriage, the relationship won’t last. My advice is to have fun with your Filipina or foreign boyfriend while it lasts.
Bonus Point: Foreigners Date Filipinas Because They Can’t Get Women in Their Home Country – True
There are two types of foreign men who travel to the Philippines to meet women:
- The guy who is unsuccessful with women in his home country
- The guy who is fed up with his domestic dating culture and has a fervid case of yellow fever
The men who fall into category #1 often do quite well in the Philippines because of their guileless nature. Once they get noticed by attractive women for the first time in the Philippines, their ego finally wakes up.
They’ll bend over backward to please Filipinas, and Filipinas love this because they aren’t accustomed to receiving this princess treatment from Filipinos.
For this reason, Filipinas always ask foreign men: How long have you been in the Philippines? This is their way of finding fresh meat who will treat them like queens or identifying the guy as a traveler. The ideal foreign man for a Filipina is the guy who just arrived there and intends to stay.
Filipinas may not realize that these men traveled to the Philippines because women in their home country wouldn’t give them the time of day.
These types of relationships are easy to spot for the trained eye and provide humor when identified.
Are you a Foreigner who wants to date a Filipina?
Now that you understand the dynamic between Filipinas and their foreign boyfriends, you may be curious to know about the best Filipina dating sites. The Philippines is the Mecca for online dating in Asia.
Over the years, I’ve had the most luck on Tinder and Cupid. I recommend my:
Those two resources are the only two you need to find a Filipina girlfriend or for a Filipina to find a foreign boyfriend. Although, I don’t recommend Cheat Codes for women since all they have to do is sign up for Tinder to be successful.
Tinder is highly competitive, yet it’s ridiculous how many Filipinas are using it. Nowadays, men are even taking to Instagram to “DM” women they find attractive.
I have yet to cave into creating an Instagram account.
If you’re a fan of social media, you’ll do well with Filipinas because they all use it, all day, every day.
These are my thoughts and observations on Filipinas dating foreigners. It’s certainly an interesting relationship dynamic that’s changed a lot since I first landed in PH in 2014.
I’m sure men before me couldn’t believe the changes that happened up until 2014, and the men before those men couldn’t believe it either.
The key takeaway is to be mindful when dating a foreign man or Filipina because you never know exactly what you’re getting yourself into until you’re in it.